Magical Woes
by Saerry Snape
Summary: Dresden Files Death Fics [contains Time of Dying, Chances Gone, and new fic, London Bridge Falls Down]
1. Time of Dying

**Title:** Time of Dying  
**Author:** Terion  
**Disclaimer:** Not. Mine.  
**Rating:** Caution for violence and blood and gore and DEATH.  
**Book or TV verse:** Book verse, post _White Night_ by a few years; not a part of my series.  
**Summary:** What happens when someone you love dies, killed in a battle that wasn't their own but one they chose to fight in anyway because you were there?

* * *

I held her – close to me with her head tucked under my chin. My arms wrapped tight about her small frame and she felt fragile in my grasp. 

Breakable.

Glass.

Empty.

I held her – but there was nothing left to hold. She lay limp in my arms, no biting remarks coming from her lips and no hands coming to hit me. Her blue eyes were dark underneath a fringe of blood-streaked blonde hair. There was no fire in her, none of her strength.

No one was home anymore.

And that made nothing matter.

I carefully laid her down on the ground, brushing her hair back from her face. Then I picked up my staff and rose to my feet slowly, not feeling my own wounds.

The gash on my cheek was nothing.

The slash across my chest was nothing.

The bruises were nothing.

Pain didn't matter anymore. At least not that sort of pain.

Striding forward, I reached up and unfastened the pin that held the now bloodied gray cloak at my throat. As I passed the young form of Captain Luccio, I dropped it at her feet and moved on without a word.

"Dresden!"

I kept walking, ignoring the cry.

I kept walking until I stood directly in front of the enemy, staring the monster right in its beady eyes. And they let me walk up to them.

"Come to give yourself up, Dresden?" it hissed, black flesh rippling as it flexed its wickedly clawed arms. My eyes were drawn downward and saw blood on those claws.

Was it hers?

I raised my gaze back up and smiled. The monster jerked backwards as if I had slapped it in the face.

"You took something from me," I said softly. My voice was a barely recognizable growl, a mockery of how I usually sounded.

I looked calm.

I wasn't.

The monster seemed to regain its composure and leaned forward, breathing stinking breath in my face.

"You cannot fight us all, Dresden."

My smile turned into a feral grin at that and I thrust the end of my staff against its chin.

"Watch me," I hissed. "_Fuego._"

One whispered word and a minor focus of will.

Just that.

Just that and I blew that monster's fucking head off.

The one's that were arrayed behind it stared in shocked as the huge, sickening black body fell to the side, limbs still twitching. Then they looked at me, now splashed in the monster's blood with that grin still on my face.

Fear showed in their black eyes.

I would give them something to _fear_.

Everything became a blur of blood, fire, and screaming after that.

Their screaming.

My screaming.

Their blood.

My blood.

My fire…puckering their flesh and searing them to the bone.

Killing them.

Like they'd killed her.

I remember after, standing there amongst the piles of burning and broken monstrous bodies. They fled, screaming in terror, and I followed, racing after them as fast as my feet would carry me.

A few screamed louder.

They were the first one's that fell.

More bodies.

More blood.

I killed them until there were no more around.

I killed them until my magic ran dry.

I killed them and killed them and killed them and yet…

…the anger and the rage and the fury did not fade.

I didn't feel better.

Killing them had done nothing.

She was still gone.

The realization hit like a blow from a sledgehammer and I screamed, anger and fury and sorrow and madness all in one tormented cry. It was something more animal than human, something ripped from the very bowels of my being.

I screamed until my throat was raw and my knees weak.

Then I fell in the blood and the gore of the monsters I had killed. Tears fell from my eyes, mixing with the blood spattered on my face, and I choked on another scream. I lay there and whimpered like a broken animal – until something touched me.

A snarl ripped its way out of my throat at the touch and I sprang, fingers clenched into claws. My hands found an arm and a throat and I took someone down, landing on them with all of my weight.

"Dresden," croaked Morgan, one hand grasping at mine about his throat as I started to squeeze. "_Dresden!_"

I just snarled and pressed harder.

What did I care?

She was gone and I had nothing left.

"_HARRY!_"

My name, screamed by a male voice I knew.

It was enough to make me pause. And as my grip slackened on the throat of the wizard underneath me, someone far stronger tackled me from the side.

I went down underneath them with a feral scream and fought back, trying to claw at their face. But their hands gripped mine tightly and a pale face was thrust into mine, dark eyes staring hard.

"Harry! Damnit, little brother, _please!_"

I froze and stared.

Some sanity crept back to me then and the red haze that had covered my vision cleared somewhat. I took in a deep, harsh breath and whispered, "Thomas?"

"Yeah," he breathed. He let go of one of mine hand and brushed back my hair, which was matted to my face by blood. I blinked and saw him much clearer – his face haggard and pale from exerting himself and worry. "Harry…you scared me."

I blinked then shuddered as I remembered.

Death.

Blood.

Me.

Murph.

"They killed her," I breathed. My now free hand grasped at his wrist and I hissed, "She's _gone_."

"I know."

His whispered words cemented it. I had hoped he would tell me that I had been wrong; that she was still alive.

But it was only a false wish.

And the truth shattered everything I had left.

There were no more tears – I had spent them all.

There was no more screaming – my throat was too raw to even speak much.

There was no more killing – I had nothing left.

I just lay there on the ground and closed my eyes, a knot in my throat. Thomas moved after a moment and lifted me up, wrapping his arms around me as he pulled me into a hug. I knotted my fingers into his shirt, my fingers with the dark monstrous blood drying on them, and clung to the comfort offered. His arms tightened around me and his breath tickled my ear as he whispered, "Harry…little brother…I'm so sorry…"

His words broke the floodgates my grief had quelled itself behind when the rage had come back. My fingers tightened where they grasped his shirt and my throat ached as I whimpered pitifully. I clung to him, there amongst the corpses of the monsters and the massacre I had done, and felt like my soul was shattering over and over again.

Stars and stones, she was gone

What could I do now?

There was nothing without her.

_I_ was nothing without her.

Murph. _Murph._ What do I do now? _What do I do?_


	2. Chances Gone

**Title:** Chances Gone  
**Author:** Terion  
**Disclaimer:** Not. Mine.  
**Rating:** Caution for grief and death.  
**Book or TV verse:** Book verse, post _White Night_ by a few years; not a part of my series. Companion to _Time of Dying._  
**Summary:** The most painful thing to do is have someone die...and never have told them how you felt about them.

* * *

What do you do when the world falls apart? 

What do you do when the rug is ripped out from underneath your feet?

What do you do when your best friend dies?

What do you do when the man you only now realize you loved is gone?

I wish I knew.

Here I sit on the ground in a muddied skirt in the rain, staring at a block of cold stone. His name is on it but that gives nothing.

He isn't the stone. And the stone can never be him.

My hand shakes as I reach out to touch his name, more tears flowing as I trace the letters with my callused fingers. But no one can see my tears – the sky cries with me.

At least I'd like to think it does.

"Why?" I asked in a choked voice to the cold stone and the graves around me. The stone remains unanswering and the dead in the graves tell me nothing.

I have no answers and so many questions.

"Why?" I asked again, leaning against the stone. I flung my arms around it, pressing my cheek against his name and wishing it was him. But its not; only this cold stone that mocks everything he was.

"Karrin?"

The rain stopped.

I turned my head and found Thomas standing over me, his dark hair damp. He held an umbrella over his head and mine, making me realize just how wet and cold I was.

"Have you see sitting out here since…" He choked and trailed off as he tried to say it. Swallowing, he breathed, "Since the funeral?"

I just nodded and he took off his coat, settling it over my shoulders. It was as wet as I was but the sentiment reminded me of another man. I started sobbing then, clutching at the lapels of the coat, and he crouched next to me. Gently pulling me to my feet, he wrapped an arm around me and I clung to him in response.

"Let's get you someplace warm," he said softly. I just nodded and let him lead me way from the cold stone. Weariness overtook me for a moment and when I came to I was warm. I was warm and lying in his bed, the scent that was purely his all around me…but he wasn't there.

He would never be there again.

A choked sob ripped its way out of my throat and I wanted to scream. I wanted to flail and break things but couldn't find the energy to move.

He wasn't going to be there to laugh at me.

Wasn't going to be there to tell jokes at my expense.

I was never going to glare at him again for opening a door, or mocking me, or being an idiot.

I wanted to scream.

But all I could do was cry.

I felt like a stupid, worthless woman just lying here crying. He had made it seem okay for me to be that at times – times when only he was there to watch me breakdown. Now he was gone and what could I do?

Only lie here and be that worthless woman.

I needed to get up.

Climbing out of his bed was one of the hardest things I've ever done. It was cold as I left that warmth and the smell of him faded. I wanted to jump back into the bed and just lie there forever but knew I couldn't.

I didn't.

The fact that my clothes weren't on my registered then and I found I didn't care. I'd been soaked to the bone and leaving me in them would have caught me a cold. In fact…it looked like I'd been asleep long enough for someone to wash and dry them off as they were sitting folded in a clean pile on a chair.

The skirt I slipped back into…but all else was forgotten. I went to his closet and pulled out a shirt at random, tugging it over my head. It was a tent on me but it was _his_ and that was all that mattered to me.

Arms wrapped around my waist, I sighed and left the bedroom. I was surprised when I saw the small gathering about the fireplace.

Thomas leaned against the mantle, looking wearier than I had seen him – even when he'd used his powers to their limit. Molly was a sniffling heap on the couch, her father sitting next to her and gently stroking her hair with Mouse there as well, his big head in her lap. Butters sat on the other end of the couch, his head down and his hands clasped between his knees. In the chair sat Ebenezar, appearing far older than when he had only hours ago at the funeral.

I walked slowly towards them all and saw that Bob was sitting on the table in the midst of all this. Mister was lying next to the skull and meowed pitifully at me as I approached.

"Karrin."

I looked up at met Thomas' eyes and tried to smile.

"I'm alright," I said. He just nodded and pushed himself away from the mantle, holding something in his right hand. Extending it towards me, he let it fall – the battered pentacle dangled from his hand.

I choked down a sob and carefully took it from him, staring down at it in my hand. Then I unclasped it and slipped it around my neck silently. They all just watched and Ebenezar smiled as I did so.

After a moment I got control of myself again and asked, "What happens now?"

"To me?" asked Molly softly.

"To everything," I replied, looking at Bob and Ebenezar specifically.

The old wizard nodded and said, "I've taken up for her with the Council. With hi…with all of this they tried to get the Doom meted out since she no longer has a teacher."

Molly blinked then shivered and breathed, "Thank you." Michael continued to stroke her hair and nodded at Ebenezar, his thanks in his eyes. Then he asked, "Will she be able to stay here?"

"Yes. I've made arrangements to stay in Chicago for as long as need be."

I nodded then looked at the skull again.

"What about Bob?"

The orange lights flickered on in the skull, seeming to gutter as though in a wind. It turned to look at me and replied, "I go to the girl. That's that."

His tone brooked no argument, though Ebenezar didn't look happy about it. Michael didn't either but he accepted it just as the rest of us did.

The skull needed to go somewhere and with Molly – who could use its knowledge – seemed a good enough way.

"The pets? His apartment?" queried Butters in a low voice.

"I can't take them," said Thomas. "I couldn't take care of them."

Ebenezar sighed and answered the other question. "I'm planning on clearing out the apartment. If you want something…take it."

We all nodded then I crouched and stroked Mister's head. The cat got to its feet and rubbed up against me, purring softly. At that I looked up and said, "I'll take them."

There were no arguments.

I left then. I packed up the things for Mouse and Mister and got the pair of them in my car, with help from Thomas to carry the things out. As I went back in to get the last thing, I saw his duster hanging by the door. Slowly I went over to it and pulled it down, feeling tears well up again as I stared down at it.

It was protected. But that hadn't saved him from a bullet to the head.

I took it. Thomas just stared at it as I carried it out then nodded, looking even wearier now. As I went to get in the car, he touched my shoulder to make me pause.

"He did love you," he said softly.

My heart leapt into my throat, causing my breath to catch. Tears welled up again and I nodded at him, breathing, "I know."

He squeezed my shoulder and that was it. I got in my car and I went home with my two new housemates. Mister darted off the moment I carried him inside and Mouse followed me wherever I went, even going to climb on the couch when I collapsed onto it after I got everything in side.

I guess he didn't want to let another master out of his sight.

The big dog laid his head in my lap and I scratched his ears with one hand. My free hand fiddled with the battered pentacle hanging at my throat for a moment and I felt the tears come again.

God, he really was gone.

The phone rang and I debated not picking it up. But I did anyway and it was in a tear-filled voice that I said, "Hello?"

"Karrin? Karrin, what's wrong?"

"Mom," I breathed, more tears coming. "Oh God. He…he died."

"Who? Karrin, who died?"

"Harry."

There was a pause then, "Karrin, honey, I'm coming over."

"Okay," I managed before I let the phone fall. I leaned over and hugged Mouse, who whimpered and licked my face in response, taking away the tears.

My hand closed around the pentacle and I closed my eyes, wishing all that had happened was nothing but a dream. Just a nightmare gone horribly wrong.

But this is a waking nightmare where nothing can change and nothing will ever be the same again.

Because he's gone.

What I hate is that I never told him how I felt.

I loved him.

And he's gone.


	3. London Bridge Falls Down

**Title:** London Bridge Falls Down  
**Author:** Terion  
**Disclaimer:** Not. Mine.  
**Rating:** DEATHFIC  
**Book or TV verse:** Book verse, post _White Night_ somewhere  
**Summary:** One character muses on the loss of others.

* * *

I watched them both fall.

She went first, toppling sideways with her side ripped open. Her face, that cheerleader's face that had been twisted into a furious snarl, gone pale. Blood and dark ichor stained the ground underneath her, more pumping out of her with each labored breath.

Yet she still gripped her gun and kept firing until she breathed her last, lying on her side with the last bullet spent.

He went mad after that, when she died and left him alone. All while she'd bled he had fought above her, protecting her, hoping that he could somehow save her. When she died...something of his image of her, his vision of her through his Sight, seemed to possess him. He became an avenging angel of death, sweeping through the ranks of vampires and ghouls with a casual fury. Thousands of them fell at his hand before they overwhelmed him and one snapped his neck.

I saw red at that point and attacked, wrecking a similar swath of destruction in my wake. But I lived.

He killed the monster that brought about her death. And I butchered the animal that killed him.

I made sure they were buried next to each other afterwards. Him in that tomb that had been waiting for years and her in a new one next to him, as if they were husband and wife. They weren't...never would have been if they'd lived.

He wouldn't have allowed it, the idiot.

But I know. I know how they felt about each other and how they should have been if the world were perfect.

The world's not perfect though.

I visit that spot every year on that day they died, though the landscape has changed a bit in the last decade, it remains the same. Mouse comes with me and howls always as mournfully as he did then.

And I kneel in front of their graves, fresh flowers in my hands, and I weep for my little brother and the woman he loved.


End file.
